Thursday, April 12, 2018

Belief

Copyright Beliefrepaterning.com

To write about one's beliefs is part exploration, part revelation.  We all have beliefs, but they're hard to identify and explain.  They aren't thoughts or feelings or emotions or words.  They aren't the same as faith or wisdom or intuition.  Although we are all taught to believe certain things, our beliefs are not learned in the same way facts are learned.  The more we grow to think for ourselves, the more we challenge our beliefs to see if they stand the test of time and close inspection.  Do we hold our beliefs because of what others believe, driven perhaps by religious or parental teachings, or do our beliefs truly reflect our own deep contemplation and conclusions?

I had beliefs long before I came to grips with the definition of "belief," and it's also true that many of my beliefs have changed during the course of my life.  The closest I've come to an accurate definition is that belief is the unswerving acceptance of a truth, whether it is a subjective or objective truth.  Since we often disagree on what is "true," it is not surprising that our beliefs differ.

My current theory is that, more than any other aspect of life, your beliefs "complete" who you are.  Although your behavior is based on some mix of heredity and environment, your personality isn't completed until you develop beliefs.  Similarly, your personality will change when your beliefs change.  Your thoughts and emotions and feelings are in constant flux, but your beliefs are very slow to change, because they are much more deeply rooted--even if you can't explain them.

Although it may be partly a semantics issue, I think that our complex systems of values are built upon our beliefs.  In addition, all ideologies, movements, and political parties are ultimately based on belief
systems.  Organized groups of people are asked to share the same general beliefs, and that is why I am not associated with any particular religion, even if a religion's creed comes close to what I believe.  I am not much of a conformist, especially where beliefs are concerned.  I am probably most comfortable in a Unitarian-Universalist church, because the U-U community asks and expects the least in conformity, but I still go my own way.

Beliefs are complicated.  They are deep-rooted, even when they are incomplete.  You might be able to change my thoughts, my emotions, my feelings, my sense of security, and my physical well-being, but you can't change my beliefs, nor can I change yours. I can't even change my own beliefs very easily.  Since beliefs evolve very slowly, I can only help that process by seeking something--more evidence, more counsel, more viewpoints, more time--to develop those beliefs.  So, for the purpose of this essay, these are my beliefs at this moment in time.

This is the most difficult essay I've tried to write, because it is hard to state one's beliefs without implying that they are "the right way."  My beliefs are the right way for me, but they most certainly are not entirely right for you and may not even be a little bit right.  I respect your beliefs as being wholly yours; each of your beliefs is right for you, as each of mine is right for me. Our beliefs don't compete, even if they are opposites.

Decades ago I had a Big Dream in which I was standing on a huge, circular scaffolding suspended in air, with darkness all around.  I could walk in either direction on the scaffolding around the circle's circumference, and every few feet I encountered a precarious walkway toward an unknown center.  I could choose any of these paths, knowing that each walkway somehow led to the same center, but through very different obstacles and experiences.  Vaguely I could see a few people taking other paths, but I took the one that felt right to me.  Then I woke up and felt satisfied that I was at least on some path.

From that dream I knew, without any doubt, that there are an infinite number of paths, like spokes on the wheel of life, leading to some center.  Some people call that center "God," others call it the "life force" or the "meaning of life."  I remember that dream vividly, not for the center's significance, but for the infinite variety of ways that we might seek it.  You build your own spoke of the wheel by how you develop your beliefs, but our intentions are the same--to reach the center, whatever is there.

So with that in mind, there is one last point about this essay: my beliefs are printed in bold type as a means for quickly summarizing them.  If you want to cut to the chase and sneak a peek, look for the bold comments.

The Existence of God

If I were to ask someone about their beliefs, the question of the existence of God would probably be paramount in their answers.  Such is not the case for me, but I acknowledge the importance of the question enough to address it first.

To me there are four compelling reasons to consider the existence of God, and they're generally summarized in my "Four C's"--creation, control, comfort, and continuity.  Most of us are taught from a very early age to believe in God.  We're taught by our parents, our teachers, our friends, our clergy, and all of the media.  But in addition to being taught what to believe, we also find it more convenient to believe than to not believe.  To believe in God answers a lot of life's questions, and those questions fall into those four categories--creation, control, comfort, and continuity.  Rather than contemplate the single question of whether God exists, for many years I have contemplated those four aspects of the question.

Creation

Most cultures teach some variation on the theme that God (or several gods) created everything.  The creation of life is so difficult to fathom that it is easier to attribute creation to God.  I'm of the mind, however, that evolution and science are enough of an explanation for the presence of life on earth.  I believe that life has evolved over hundreds of millions of years.  All of documented modern civilization falls within the last 6,000 years, while dinosaurs disappeared from the earth about 66,000,000 years ago!  Our species originated somewhere between 100,000 and 200,000 years ago.  Our country is less than 250 years old, which seems like an eternity to our conscious minds.  When seen in that light, the evolution of life over a period of hundreds of millions of years is not so hard to believe.  In fact, it is my belief that we, as a species, are forever evolving.

When visiting an antique store many years ago, I discovered a page from the 1902 Tennessee State Prison Convict Record.  I paid 25 cents for the page, which I rescued from between two tightly-stacked display cases.  The owner of the shop seemed to know nothing about the page, but I was captivated by it.  Each side of the 10" x 16" sheet profiles four men who entered prison at the facility between February 3 and February 15, 1902.  The most interesting detail of the profiles is that the tallest of the eight men was 5' 8-1/4".  The average height was about 5' 6".  During World War II, the average serviceman was 5' 8" tall, and I wouldn't be surprised if the average American male born today will grow to 5' 10".  The average human physique has changed just within our lifetimes!

But it's important to note that just about everything else has also changed about us in our lifetimes, or certainly since our parents were born.  Our foods, drugs, transportation, pastimes, inventions, homes, education, laws, and knowledge base have all greatly changed as part of our evolution.  We create things to keep up with and reflect our own evolving.

I'm aware that many people attribute creation of life to the works of God, but my view of creation is more easily explained by the workings of evolution and science, from big-bang theory down to molecular discoveries.  I don't disrespect or criticize someone for giving thanks to God for creating something; I simply give thanks to whatever life force (or evolution) is present within our world.

Control

Since I was a little kid, the concept that God controls my life has always rankled me.  Long before I could contemplate my own free will, I was taught that I (and I alone) was responsible for my actions.  Because I believe in free will, I have never believed that a higher being has a "plan" for my life.  In addition to free will, I believe that random order (chaos) exists--that someone, for instance, can run a stop light and hit my car or that I can contract a disease or that my birth date might coincide with some event in a stranger's life.  We call them coincidences, but I see them as simply random events in a chaotic world where we would prefer to impose some degree of order on things.  Randomness has its own order; things don't have to happen according to a plan.  When I combine free will with random order, I am comfortable with the result--my life's path.

Another interesting rebuttal to the theory of God controlling one's life is the amount of evil in the world.  This is a question we debated at length in a philosophy course I took in college--are there really two gods, one good and one evil?  When children die at the hands of a gunman, is that the evil god winning out over the good god?  Or, is the good god just busy being good somewhere else?  My belief in free will makes those questions moot.  I believe that people, and people alone, choose between good and evil acts.  I don't believe any God controls those things.

Most people go through difficult events in their lives, all types of losses and setbacks and threats.  When I hear someone say that they've placed their life in God's hands, that God controls their destiny, what I really hear is despair, disillusionment, and disengagement, whether or not they are feeling that.  While I've certainly felt that type of despair, it has never occurred to me to hand over control to someone else or to a higher being.  Even at the point of giving up, in my life there has always been free will.

To paraphrase something I said in my article, You Choose What You Deserve and Deserve What You Choose, I believe your life comes down to a complex, interconnecting series of choices which are interwoven with the lives of others in a world of random order.  I have known many people who gave up the right to choose, preferring to let life come to them.  "If God wants me to have something, He will bring it into my life."  That's the opposite of what I think.  If God exists and created me, it wasn't for me to be idle.

Comfort

Basic to all humans is the need for comfort, and, if we cannot somehow obtain it on our own or through others, we pray for it.  I think that prayer--to ask something of a higher source or being--is one of the most basic traits of being human.  It is instinctual and second-nature for us to ask something from the great unknown.

In all the times I've prayed in my lifetime, they have been to ask for something I wanted.  The more despair I felt, the harder I prayed.  I acknowledge that the very act of praying is a salve, a form of self-nurturing and solace, but if I evaluate prayer based on the results, it is no better than wishful hoping and positive thoughts for me.  I believe that positive thoughts and intentions lead us to good actions and results.

Rather than use prayer for comfort, I am mindful of constantly nurturing myself.  I believe in the powers of self-nurturing.  The salve that prayer may provide me can easily be replaced by that of self-nurturing.  I've known so many people who went through a death or a divorce or another loss and relied mostly on prayer to get them through the ordeal.  That was right for them, but it didn't work for me when I experienced deep loss.  A dear friend and counselor once taught me about self-nurturing and the reliance on a "support team," and that's what works for me.  When you're going through a hard time, or even when times are good, do three (or however many) small, nurturing things for yourself every day, and rely on those islands of peaceful existence for contemplation and comfort-seeking.  When things are especially difficult, appoint your own support team of close friends and loved ones, and rely on them every day.

There's one more aspect of prayer that I find unappealing to me and, therefore, not useful in supporting my beliefs.  Rather than pray for good health or bountiful crops or peace between neighbors, we pray for things that will help us to the detriment of others.  We pray that our team will win or that we get the last parking space or that we get chosen over someone else.  Prayer easily becomes a selfish request.  That isn't of comfort to me, as tempting as selfish wishes are.

People find comfort--sometimes an immense comfort--in just believing in God.  I'm glad that is true for them, but it isn't true for me.  Of all the things that bring me comfort--relatives and friends, music and art, dogs and children, nature and its inhabitants, puzzles and stories, food and drink, reading and sports, good news and anticipation--God is not one of them.  I don't feel any fuller or safer or stronger or more adept if I believe in a God.  If tomorrow's news brought incontrovertible proof that God does or does not exist, I would not feel more or less comfort in my life.

One last comment about seeking comfort and associating it with God--people do find comfort in a church, synagogue, or mosque community, and I think that's very important.  William Faulkner wrote that a church's most useful purpose was in providing a sense of community for its congregants.  But I have found that same sense of community and security in many different settings which were not associated with the worship of a holy being.

Continuity

What happens to you when you die?  Believing in an afterlife is the most comforting, convenient answer to our continuity questions.  If we believe in a heaven, where we get through the pearly gates and see our deceased relatives and friends again, we are supposedly then able to live our lives without worry, as if life would simply continue somewhere else when we die.  Believing in God facilitates belief in an afterlife, and vice-versa.  The two beliefs go hand-in-hand.  (Does anyone believe in heaven and not believe in God?)

Being an overly logic-based person, the problem with believing in an afterlife is that it's completely illogical to me, and it always has been since I was a little kid.  If I encountered my father, who died when I was 19 and he was 60, what would our ages be?  Would I be older or younger than my father, since I'm 68 now?  Would I see my grandfather, Abraham, who I never knew, just because my father knew him?  Would I come upon other people I didn't know, perhaps people from different centuries?  Could I find Beethoven and John Lennon in the heavenly crowd?  Regardless of whom I saw again, could I ask questions of them?

And what if you don't want to see all of those dead people again?  Do you have a choice to only see some of them for a few minutes?  Could I walk around and just see my old friend, Cecil, who killed himself, and my old friend, Dan, who wrote the most heavenly music and died before all of his songs were written?  Wouldn't there be a line of people waiting to see him?

This doesn't make sense to me, and I haven't even gotten to the more complicated questions about an afterlife.

My great desire would not be to see people again, but to spend eternity with my dogs!  From Brandy and Casey and Cody I felt the most constant, unwavering, unencumbered joy I ever experienced in my life.  That would be my idea of heaven, but that's not what I believe will happen.  I believe that's what did happen, while they were alive.  The continuity for me is in the memory of them, not the belief that I'll see them again.

As an alternative to a pastoral afterlife, the concept of reincarnation makes more sense to me, and it is more comforting.  It is the ultimate form of "continuing education."  It is easier to imagine, unlike the concept of heaven, that one's soul continues in multiple, successive lives, not just one life, and that there are soul "ages"--a person might currently have a young soul or an old soul.  In the same vein, all of us have experienced that odd sensation of deja vu, where something happens that we think we've experienced before but know we haven't in this lifetime.  What if the soul recognizes it from a prior lifetime, but the conscious self doesn't?

The bottom line for me is that I suspect there is continuity from one lifetime to another, but that continuity doesn't matter to me at all.  I believe my only important life is the current one.  Whatever happened last or happens next doesn't matter to me.

People grasp onto some concept of heaven because they can't imagine an eternal nothingness in dying, but to me it's like falling asleep and not dreaming, which doesn't scare me.  After all, death is called the "Big Sleep."  Rather than coming to grips with the concept that everything stops, it is so much easier for most people to believe in life continuing, but in a different setting.  Nothingness is hard to imagine.

When I was in my early 20's, I had another Big Dream that began with me walking into a conference room.  A dozen people sat around a large table.  They were dressed in nondescript suits and ties, so they probably were all men, but I couldn't tell.  They had no faces or other distinct features.  I was asked to sit down and then was told that I was "between lives."  We were all gathered there to discuss the life I had just finished, with the understanding that I would not remember the meeting once I reached my next life.  In the dream I felt a mixture of anticipation and curiosity.  The last life was over, but I felt no sorrow about that.  My last overwhelming impression in the dream was that I had been to that room before!  This was not the first time I had been ushered into the room for a chat.  I also felt some satisfaction that I did not have to repeat certain things from the life I'd just finished.

When it comes to continuity after this life, what I hope for is another visit to that room.

Progressive Agnosticism

With my views on creation, control, comfort, and continuity, I would characterize myself as a progressive agnostic.  I don't believe or disbelieve in God, and I strongly believe that the existence of God can't be proved, as one might prove a scientific law (through deductive reasoning) or a prediction of population growth (through inductive reasoning).  So, the existence of God can't be proved through either deductive or inductive reasoning, both of which I rely on constantly.

If a person makes a statement that reflects their belief in God, I never challenge them to prove the existence of God.  Besides being confrontational, there is no basis of proof on which we could agree.  The person might point to the existence of religions or traditions or literature as a means for proving God, or they might point to their personal experiences with God, but that would not be enough to convince me.  Those are the results or the effects of belief systems, not the underlying proof of a higher being.

Presenting the evidence of "miracles" as a means for proving God exists doesn't work for me either.  One person's miracle is another person's cosmic or metaphysical event, and I've seen some real whoppers in my lifetime (see my essay, A Magical Mystery Tour).  I've experienced and seen things that no one would believe, but I'd never offer those experiences as proof of God's existence (or God's nonexistence).

Oddly, it is not that I need physical proof either.  I certainly believe in the existence of love and hate, but you can only view the results of those emotions (although a brain scan may clearly show the difference between the two emotions in a person).  Maybe that's proof enough with God also--to only see the reflection of something that can't be seen.  That's why I'm agnostic, and I am progressive because I am always looking for more evidence to answer a never-ending question.

The Question of Right and Wrong

A lot of my beliefs center on powers of the individual.  There are thousands of different cultures in this world, each one cultivating their own practices and traditions.  From those cultures, about 4,200 religions now exist in the world, most of which you and I are unaware.  A "religion" is loosely defined as a public faith or belief system, usually with elements of spirituality, laws, and ethics.

When an individual adopts a religion, the person usually adopts the religion's beliefs, laws, and ethical behaviors.  That's probably why I've adopted no single religion as an adult, but am attracted to parts of several religions.  No single religion matches my sense of right and wrong entirely, but, most importantly, I believe a universal right and wrong exists that is beyond the scope of any religion, but is within the reach of each individual.

Many years ago I had a very interesting conversation with an acquaintance of mine regarding his latest Bible study.  A question of morality was presented to his class of a dozen people, and they were asked, "What should you do?"  I vaguely recall that the hypothetical situation centered on suddenly acquiring a pair of San Francisco 49er playoff tickets by accident, where it was instead possible to discover the actual owner of the tickets.  He asked me what I would do, and I immediately told him the steps I would take to find the owner.  He told me that my response exactly matched his answer in the class, but that every other person had contrived a "what if" scenario that allowed them to keep the tickets!  Some even felt it was their right to have the tickets--"finders, keepers."

My acquaintance had been stunned by their responses, for not one person had posed the question, "What is the right thing to do?"  It was a life-changing experience for him--to realize that his Bible study could be filled with people who couldn't tell the difference between right and wrong, or, even more to the point, had synthesized their own right and wrong to fit the situation.  He promptly stood up in class and told them that, and he left the group, never to return.

The one realization he took away from that class was not that people were good or bad, selfish or unselfish, but that many people did not fully understand the nature of right and wrong.  He and I differ greatly in our religious and cultural backgrounds, but our actions in the world are based on the same belief that right and wrong exist outside the human being--that right and wrong is an objective question rather than a subjective question.

This is where it gets complicated....  It's not that he and I assumed that every righteous person would come up with the same moral answer to the question of the tickets; it's that each person should seek the answer with the idea that a correct one exists in the universe, that the right thing to do exists outside their own reality.  We may come up with different conclusions, but our searches should have the same objective: do what's right.

My limited experiences in group philosophical discussions have usually been among people who sought insights about "truth seeking," whether or not they had done a lot of it themselves.  Those are often fun discussions, and I have sometimes come away from them thinking that I had discovered something about myself.  My best discussions, however, were with my friend, Chet Ratliff, in the 1980's, when we would pose what-if situations to each other and try to find a "right" answer.  To this day, when I encounter a sticky situation where the "right" way is not obvious, I still ask myself, "What would Chet do?"

Aphorisms

While tackling some of the writings of the Russian philosopher, G. I. Gurdjieff, in the late 1970's, I came across a set of 38 aphorisms (sayings) that he had written about how to live your life.  I didn't ascribe to some of them, but a few have stayed with me for my entire life.  Here are four I've especially followed:
  • Respect every religion.
  • Practice love first on animals, they are more sensitive.
  • Only he can be just who is able to put himself in the position of others.
  • Conscious faith is freedom.  Emotional faith is slavery.  Mechanical faith is foolishness.
I have developed my beliefs almost as a set of aphorisms.  If you can put your beliefs into words, then you can challenge and refine those beliefs as you age.  Here are five of my beliefs, written as aphorisms.  The first one is an old adage I'm sure you've heard.
  • The most important rule of life is to treat others as you'd like to be treated.  I can call this a belief, rather than just a practice in behavior.  I believe our entire political system (not the government, but the system) is devoid of this concept.  This is probably my most deeply-rooted belief, although I didn't really start practicing it until my late teens.  Whatever integrity a person has, it begins with this practice.  Do unto others.
  • All people should have equal rights.  Hand-in-hand with the first belief is that I believe all people should enjoy equal rights in "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."  It is my moral compass in determining my stance on any issue.  In my set of beliefs, no one is especially chosen to enjoy a personal right, nor should they be barred from that right, unless they have broken a just law of the people.  In effect, although all people are different, no one is more special than anyone else.  Debating what is "just" in a law is one of the functions of an evolving society, but my first premise for such a law is that it not discriminate.
  • Each of your decades has a purpose.  Significant birthdays are probably overly-celebrated, but I believe that each of my decades has had a profound purpose, and so I enjoy big birthdays.  I go into a decade with the attitude that it will be different from any other decade, and I frequently evaluate whether I'm relatively on track.  My 60's have been my "Retirement and Refocus" decade, where my 50's were my "Build Wealth" decade--however successful that was.
  • All actions have consequences.  As we grow up, most of us are taught to take responsibility for our actions, but are we really taught why?  My good friend and counselor, Gail Montgomery, taught me much about the "why" in taking responsibility--that all of our actions have consequences.  There are good consequences and bad consequences, and sometimes there are both in a single action.  Rather than ask myself what I should do in a situation, I began asking myself what the consequences would be.  Even simple actions (or inactions) may have big consequences, so the habit of seeking out the consequences became my beacon in the fog of "what to do."
  • Nature should be preserved and respected.  Although I have never been a "nature" person, choosing the comforts of my home over the challenges and joys of camping out, for instance, I have the utmost respect for living things.  I didn't have to develop this respect; it has always been there.  This belief governs my actions in many ways, including donating to organizations like The Nature Conservancy and World Wildlife Fund.  Their work is in sync with my beliefs. 

Some Final Words

Beliefs aren't easy to define or explain.  If you really believe something, then you should live a life that is consistent with that belief.  When I see someone whose actions or words are so contradictory with what they claim they believe, my first conclusion is that they have been instructed and expected to hold that belief, but that they haven't explored and challenged that belief enough.

But I have been fortunate to know many, many people who "live their beliefs."  A person's belief may be completely different from mine, and I may even say to myself, "Huh, I could never believe that."  Yet, I admire that person on some level for following what they believe.  It is not always easy to do that.

I find it most interesting that people can and do change their beliefs.  If a person is raised to believe that races or cultures or genders or castes are not equal in rights, they may live with that belief for fifty years, only to have a life experience that alters that belief.  It probably happens more often than we realize, because changing one's beliefs is a very private matter.

The initial purpose for writing this essay was to express things about myself that others may have had no way of knowing, but a greater purpose may be to encourage others to think about their own beliefs.  You may ask, "Well, what do I believe?"  If you rest with that question for some time, you may find your core beliefs emerge from the shadows slowly, and they may surprise you.






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